Grown Children

As a Mother I love my children, so very very much. But having children is also a day to day adventure. Learning that they are grown, have their own life, their own challenges, their own ups and downs. And most of all learning that I am not the most important in their life (I shouldn't be) but..its still hard to imagine that years ago I wondered if I would ever get any alone time. Now I spend days alone wondering why it all went so fast. An old saying but really it goes so fast. Now one of my daughters is having a baby and I am happy, excited, and also realizing that they say its "My time" but to me that means when my daughter text me asking me to go to lunch. That makes my day, that's "My time". My youngest is 21 now and life is truly an adventure. I have to constantly tell myself its normal,even healthy to have space in relationships between parent and children. My oldest daughter is in North Carolina. I am really proud of her, but I miss her more then I could put into words. Wishing I could just hear from her in any format. My oldest child and only son is hurting because the mother of his child has not let us see him for months. And I step back and breathe and pray that if they need me they will call, if they need "Mom" I will run ASAP. But I have to admit its hard to start this part of my life where I am suppose to reinvent myself. I am suppose to find a man, a job and happiness all in one. Wow and I only want more moments of "Hey mom what are you doing?" I love those moments. And come January I will hold my grand baby and watch my daughter and son in law learn what loving someone really feels like. They will be awesome. I have no doubts. I miss those days when crying, diapers, and messes were the order of the day. I look forward to the short but sweet moments of "Hey mom, what you doing?"