When you need me, when you need to feel loved

Dear You,
I am writing this for the day I am not here anymore.
When you need me, I will always be there. When you need to feel loved, I will still love you.
When you need someone to believe in you, I will always believe in you.
When you need someone to help you hold on for one more day, I will be there to hold your hand.
I have always been there, I will always be there, you might not be able to call me, or hold me,
or have a conversation like we use to, but I will still be there.
Just remember that I always have, always will be there.
I know you have someone inside you dont believe in, someone you want to be, thought you would be,
but you just havent found him yet.
Well I saw him, moments at a time, but I saw him, I know he is there.
He is afraid, terribly afraid of someone seeing him, loving him anyway faults and all.
Someone who no matter what will always pick up the phone if they can to be there.
But when I am gone, know that I still will be checking on you, I will still be encouraging you to
pick yourself up, look in the mirror and fight another day, for another chance to be you.
You never let me in, and thats okay, but no matter how hard you tried, I saw you, I loved you,
everything you were fighting against happened. So what does that tell you?
Why can I do this? How do I do this? Well I had my time, I still have days, moments where I think
noone should love me. But then I remember I had the greatest father and mother who loved me at
my worst, believed when I didnt, loved me when I didnt deserve it.
I had a grandmother who always would say, Someday you will come back to who you were meant to be, and well I am telling you now that I know someday you will be who you want to be.
You will love who you were meant to love, your dreams will come true.
However you will need to work hard, harder then you ever have, quit burying your feelings in alcohol
and face the truth. Face the pain, get through it, and in the sober light of day you will feel new again.
It will hurt, it will take you to the darkest place you could go, but here is the thing you can do it
You have the ability, and someone believes in you, believes that no matter how many times you fall or stumble you will get it right.
I am writing this so that when you turn around and i am gone, and you cant find me because I am home, you will remember that I still will be there, believing in you, loving you, and wanting your happiness.
I love you, and know who you are, really are, you are damaged, you are beating yourself up, you think you deserve what you got, No you made choices, and there were other people who had their free agency, you need to stand up, look at yourself in the mirror, and know there are people who will pull you through this.
I am proud of you, I know someday when your where you should be, you will see what I mean.
When you need me, when you need to feel loved, I will still be there.
Always,
Me
(Written by Jill Ferrin Bailey)